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Bartizzle Deadizzle
Yo' know how tha fuck fox has a shit way o' countin' simpsons episodes? they refuse ta count a couple o' 'em, makin' da amount o' episodes inconsistent. da reason fo' dis be a lost episode from season 1. findin' details 'bout dis missin' episode be difficult, no one Who the fuck was workin' on tha show at tha time likes ta rap 'bout dat shit. From What the fuck has been pieced together, da lost episode was written entirely by matt groenin'. Durin' production o' da first season, matt started ta act strangely. Dude was very quiet, seemed nervous n' morbid. Mentionin' dis ta anyone Who the fuck was present results in 'em gettin' very angry, n' forbiddin' yo' ta eva mention dat shit ta matt. i first heard o' dat shit at an event Where the fuck david silverthug was speakin'. Someone in tha crowd asked 'bout tha episode, n' silverthug simply left tha stage, endin' tha presentation hours early. Da episodez production numba was 7g06, da title was dead bart. Da episode labeled 7g06, moanin' lisa, was made lata n' given dead bartz production code ta hide da latterz existence. in addtizzle ta gettin' angry, askin' anyone Who the fuck was on da show 'bout dis gotta cause 'em ta do everythin' they can ta stop yo' from directly communicatin' wit' matt groenin'. At a hustla event, i managed ta follow his ass afta dude spoke ta da crowd, n' eventually had a chance ta rap ta his ass alone as dude was leavin' da buildin'. Dude didn't seem upset dat i had followed his ass, probably expected a typical encounta wit' an obsessive hustla. When the fuck i mentioned da lost episode though, all color drained from his muthafuckin' face n' dude started tremblin'. When the fuck i asked his ass if dude could tell me any details, dude sounded like dude was on tha verge o' tears. Dude grabbed a piece o' paper, wrote somethang on dat shit, n' handed dat shit ta me. Dude begged me neva ta mention da episode again. da piece o' papa had a website address on dat shit, i would ratha not say What the fuck dat shit was, fo' reasons yo''ll peep in a second. I entered da address da fuck into my fuckin' browser, n' i came ta a site dat was completely black, except fo' a line o' yellow text, a download link. I clicked on dat shit, n' a file started downloadin'. Once tha file was downloaded, my fuckin' computa went wild, dat shit was tha worst virus i had eva peep. System restore didn't work, da entire computa had ta be rebooted. Before doin' dis though, i copied tha file onto a cd. I tried ta open dat shit on my fuckin' naw empty computer, n' as i suspected, there was an episode o' tha simpsons on dat shit. tha episode started off like any otha episode, N' therez Ain't nuthin' but had very poor quality animation. If yo''ve peep da original gangsta animation fo' some enchanted evening, dat shit was similar, N' therez Ain't nuthin' but less stable. Tha first act was fairly aiiight, N' therez Ain't nuthin' but tha way tha characters acted was a lil' off. Homa seemed angrier, marge seemed depressed, lisa seemed anxious, bart seemed ta have genuine anga n' hatred fo' his muthafuckin' muthafatha. tha episode was 'bout tha simpsons goin' on a plane trip, nea tha end o' tha first act, tha plane was takin' off. Bart was foolin' 'round, as yo''d expect. However, as tha plane was 'bout 50 feet off tha ground, bart broke a window on tha plane n' was sucked out. at tha beginnin' o' tha series, matt had an idea dat tha animated style o' tha simpsons' ghetto represented life, n' dat dirtnap turned things mo' hyper-realistizzle. Dis was used in dis episode. Da picture o' bartz corpse was barely recognizable, they took full advantage o' dat shit not havin' ta move, n' made an almost photo-realistic drawin' o' his muthafuckin' dead body. act one ended wit' tha shot o' bartz corpse. When the fuck act two started, homer, marge, n' lisa were sittin' at their muthafuckin' table, cryin'. Da cryin' went on n' on, dat shit got mo' pained, n' sounded mo' hyper-realistizzle, betta actin' than yo' would think possible. Da animation started ta decay even mo' as they cried, n' yo' could hea murmurin' in da background. Da characters could barely be made out, they were stretchin' n' blurring, they looked like deformed shadows wit' random bright colors thrown on 'em. there were faces lookin' in da window, flashin' in n' out so yo' were neva shizzle What the fuck they looked like. dis cryin' went on fo' all o' act two. act three opened wit' a title card sayin' one yea had passed. Homer, marge, n' lisa were skeletally thin, n' still sittin' at tha table. There was no sign o' maggie or tha pets. they decided ta visit bartz grave. Springfield was completely deserted, n' as they walked ta tha cemetery tha houses became mo' n' mo' decrepit. They all looked abandoned. When the fuck they got ta da grave, bartz body was just lyin' in front o' his muthafuckin' tombstone, lookin' just like dat shit did at da end o' act one. da family started cryin' again. Eventually they stopped, n' just stared at bartz body. Da camera zoomed in on homerz face. Accordin' ta summaries, homa tells a joke at dis part, N' therez Ain't nuthin' but dat shit isn't audible in da version i saw, yo' can't tell What the fuck homa be sayin'. tha view zoomed out as tha episode came ta a close. Tha tombstones in tha background had tha names o' every simpsons guest sta on 'em. Some dat no one had heard o' in 1989, some dat haven't been on tha show yet. All o' 'em had dirtnap dates on 'em. fo' guests Who the fuck died since, like michael jackson n' george harrison, tha dates were When the fuck they would die. Tha credits were completely silent, n' seemed handwritten. Da final image was da simpson family on their muthafuckin' couch, like in da intros, N' therez Ain't nuthin' but all drawn in hypa hyper-realistizzle, lifeless style o' bartz corpse. a thought occurred ta me afta seein' tha episode fo' tha first time, yo' could try ta use tha tombstones ta predict tha dirtnap o' livin' simpsons guest stars, N' therez Ain't nuthin' but therez somethang odd 'bout most o' tha ones Who the fuck haven't died yet. all o' their muthafuckin' deaths r' listed as da same date.